Pacificapocalypse

Sounds legit, what do you think?

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

Via BoingBoing

In the shower this morning.

Court: “So I have a class today where I have to pick two students and have them-”
Me: “Give them melee weapons and enter Thunderdome!” (I’m always thinking about Thunderdome when we’re both in the shower; it’s a big two person shower with two shower heads, but still… there’s that lingering fear that when you have a face full of soap suds you’re going to catch an elbow in the biscuits.)
Court: “No jerko! I have to have them do an exercise in the Piaget method of teaching-”
Me: “Which really means… THUNDERDOME!”
Court: “NO! I’m going to be using-”
Me: “Two student enter: one student leaves!”
Court: “I’m going to hit you.”
Me: “Did you tell them they get to keep the Thunderdome when they’re done? It’d be like a playhouse.” (She’s teaching 2nd graders right now; they’re keen on playhouses.)

At which point I realized that I was alone. Had a face full of soap suds.

Avast ye scally wags! ‘Tis only two days until International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Still time to brush up on yer Piratical jabberin’ with such classics as:

• Avast, me hearties!
• Shiver me Timbers!
• Yo ho ye lily livered scoundrel!
• I’ll run ye through with me broadsword!

And of course, Yarrr!!

Say it once, say it twice, say it like a pirate.

Ok so I’m watching Good Morning America and Chris Cuomo is interviewing the former CEO of AIG, Hank Greenberg, and he’s talking about how the government bail-out is a necessary thing ( side note - did you know that we just bought an insurance company? By ‘we’ I mean every tax paying American… for the bargain price of $85 billion. Now try and wrap your head around that number for a moment. That’s 85 followed by nine zeros. Here, take a look: $85,000,000,000. That’s more dollars than there are people on the planet by several factors. If every single living man, woman and child on the globe gave $10 that still wouldn’t get us to $85 billion. ). His rational is that if AIG goes under there would be a domino effect of financial firms that would go tits up.
Me, I’m thinking, ‘hey, how about a bailout on a more personal level? I could use a couple thousand dollars. That’s not even a worthy of notice when we’re talking billions.’
So Greenburg then goes on about how the downturn in AIG’s fortunes have effected him on a personal level, but he then says “but don’t worry, I’ll be alright.”

He’ll be alright.

Did you hear that? The man has a net worth of $3.2 billion, but he wants us to know that AIG’s misfortunes, are also his misfortunes. That this has effected him on a personal level.

But he’ll be alright.

fucker.
I swear to christ, someday I’m going to be rich and famous for inventing a machine that let’s you stab someone in the face over television.

</rant>

Seriously.

Sidewalk graffiti at 18th and Dolores in San Francisco’s hipster-heavy Mission district.
(Photo by Melissa Gira Grant)
Via Valleywag

And I think I saw a tumble weed blow by.
Ok seriously it hasn’t been that nothings going on (re: the lack of recent post activity) but that I’ve actually been otherwise occupied. First I had a nasty summer cold that I’m *finally* seeing the last of, then while that was going on I made a lateral move from one department in my company, to another, and have been relatively busy training and such.

Much more later.
Promise.